So i've done 10 days of chemo + radiation therapy, and things are going well. I do chemo+rad from M-F, and just chemo on Sat & Sun.
The first few days were difficult - between the chemo and the radiation, there is definitely a lot of change and the body doesn't like it. But god knows it does the mind best to try to handle the changes as best as possible, and then the body seems to do its best as well. Here's a brief view of my treatment to date. For reference, Day #1 = Feb 7.
Day #1: Nothing special
Day #2: My body revolts, and does its best to get rid of whatever is causing this
Day #3-5: My body relaxes a bit and instead of revolting, it just goes into slow/recovery mode. I have a light stomache ache and no appetite, and i'm not sure how to trust my body.
Days #6-7: My body climbs out of slow mode, the stomache ache subsides, and the appetite slowly returns
Days #8-Now: I feel back to 100%. I'm supposed to take anti-nausia with the chemo and then again later on when it wears out - now i just take it with the chemo, and i don't need to take it later.
That's a lot of change in 11 days, and i suspect a lot more change is coming, in some way or the other.
This is the first time that i'm experiencing a lot of this and i recognize some things in it. I recognize my initial reaction of "not liking it", reacting to it, and i recognize (happily) as the "choice" to be more equanimous with it raises its head, and sometimes it's almost like looking at the two choices and thinking "do i go with the what i'm used to (reaction) or do i go with the new one (be equanimous)?" Can you guess which one i do my best for? And it does me very well. I like to think that the better my mind can do, the better it can help my body do the best it can.
I might say it every time i write, but i can't help it: a huge factor in this is how i am surrounded, just surrounded, by support. If i'm feeling weaker and i look up (speaking figuratively) and see someone looking down at me with such care, such metta, i am immediately inspired and redouble my efforts and it helps me then and there, in so many ways.
Very soon we're going to try to hit the climbing gym. Thru the trip to India & Burma i'm down from 189lb to 171lb, and the doctors don't want me getting any lighter - and neither do i! I'd like to think it was mostly muscle that i lost, but honestly my pants do fit a lot looser these days...i suppose that's good...heh. The doctors recently said that they don't want me getting any lighter - and it's funny, Dhalie said that ages ago (since our return from Burma) and has been feeding me voluminous amounts of the most healthy foods possible. I tease her and joke that it can be *really* hard to gain weight eating healthily and if we want me to gain weight we should just head out to the nearest fast food, but she doesn't believe me. But the truth is we look closely at what we're eating and try to make sure we're getting enough of the carbs, proteins and fats and we've been lightly praised by the nutritionists that we've consulted with regards to this. So while this doesn't "save the day" it does help our immediate health as a bare minimum and whew, we enjoy it too!
Feeling fortunate,
John
